Facade
by noobl
Summary: Star struggles to determine whether or not her feelings are real.


**(note: Curse of the Blood Moon spoilers, kinda)**

**(edit: for those of you who already read this chapter, know I revised it heavily to seem more linear and less confused, maybe give it a reread?)**

* * *

"I don't want my destiny determined by some creepy curse, but…"

"I like this."

She looked at his eyes as she grasped his hand. He traced his thumb around her fingers lightly, still keeping at the dance as his gaze drifted to the floor below him. "Yeah?… so do I."

His frown. His remorse and his sadness…

He must be feeling the same way as well…

All those thoughts and all those feelings. The ones that made her feel warm inside, made her laugh and smile and yearn…

All those simple moments they were together, where everything was perfect and no place in the world was better. All those adventures and those quiet little conversations they'd had…

All of the hugs they'd shared, which had seen them through the worst of hardships and happiest of days…

She cared about him. He cared about her. She would do anything for him and he'd do the same. They'd stick by each other till the very end. All of that time together, building that relationship…

Those awkward moments and those long discussions, those boundless escapades and those little moments… That fluttering feeling when they were together…

She didn't want to lose that! She didn't want to lose it for anything in the world!

And yet within seconds, all of that was going to be gone. Erased because of a single decision that couldn't be reversed now.

She had asked for this. Despite Relicor's warning and being given every opportunity to reconsider, she'd stepped right in without considering the consequences. And now, within minutes, she was regretting that.

She should've been happy that all was going to be erased. She others to care about as well. Marco wasn't everything. She had a boyfriend, for Pete's sake! This curse was getting in the way of their relationship. She had to get rid of it, not only for herself but for everyone else! To keep the curse present would be wrong!

Yet as she danced along with Marco, hand in hand in the red light, all she could think about was losing all of that. All she could care about right now was the last moments she had with Marco before it'd all go away. She couldn't help but feel the urge to cry knowing that their relationship would fade back into just…

Nothing…

Just being friends…

…

Why?

Why was she so afraid of losing these feelings?

Why did she so desperately want them to stay?

She always hated being forced to do something!

Always being told to act a certain way and feel a certain way, simply because of the fact she was born as a princess who has to follow pointless and arbitrary traditions and do things simply because everyone else wanted her to. That was not her way!

She did things because she wanted to! She'd be herself and forge her own path regardless of what everyone else thought! Fate and destiny meant nothing to her!

And for this curse to just define her course and force her mind towards feeling this way…

It meant everything between them was nothing more than a facade.

A ruse. A sick trick from some centuries old moon which was ruining everything and imposing its will upon her. She couldn't live knowing that everything she was thinking was fake.

Artificial.

A lie.

But…

To say all those moments, those experiences and those adventures, were nothing more than fake…

To say her relationship with Marco was the way it was simply because of a curse they had no control over…

She didn't want to believe it.

They'd been through so much together. So much, that some sudden curse couldn't have been the cause of it all. Those moments must've felt important to her because they were close to her heart and unforgettable memories which they shared, not because of some moon.

The curse couldn't have had the power to force all of those feelings down upon her, right?

Why else hadn't they realized their feelings immediately after the blood moon ball ended? Why else had it taken so long for everything to happen? If the curse was forcing these thoughts down their minds, why now? Why now instead of the moment it happened? It never made itself truly apparent until now!

And if the curse simply 'bound' them together, why had it put them through so many roadblocks and bumps before now? If it was all powerful and overriding, why would it allow for both of them to see other people as if that was part of the plan?

Wouldn't the curse have been immediate and in some sense, made her relationship with Marco perfect and absent of problems? And if that, wouldn't that mean that, throughout all of this, she had control over her thoughts and feelings?

There were just too many mistakes she made for the story to have been perfect…

Their relationship was all too human to have been from a curse. Full of its imperfections and its quirks, never perfect and never unquestioning.

Looking at Marco with his calaca mask on, her smile slowly broke as the implications of that realization raised a question within her mind.

One that made everything that was happening now seem like a mistake. One that made her fear of what would come after this moment.

"What if it was never the blood moon?" She asked aloud as her eyes began to well up.

What if everything she was feeling was real?

For so long she'd been hiding her feelings and refusing to acknowledge them. So much so to the point that she was willing to latch onto an excuse, any excuse, that would tell her that it wasn't real. That the kiss between them meant nothing and her mind was doing nothing more than playing tricks on her.

So quick was she to latch onto the idea that all of her thoughts and her feelings were the cause of a simple curse. So quick was she willing to get rid of the memories and the time they'd spent together, growing and learning from each other as best friends who'd fallen in love. She couldn't come to terms with the truth.

Their friendship had survived multiple enemies, hundreds of dimensions, neglect and strain, all through their own. The blood moon had nothing to do with how she'd felt. It developed because of her own feelings.

She'd come to love the boy on her own.

Those warm, comfy hugs on those cool, breezy school days. Those caring and attentive eyes which always called to her. Always knowing what to say and do to help her feel better, always able to understand and know how she was feeling. Never afraid and always supportive.

It seemed like such a long time since they'd first met in that school…

So much had changed.

Maybe it had taken her all this time to realize her new feelings, through all the painful moments and all the silent days. But after everything that had happened, they found each other again. After everything, they were together.

At ease with their feelings and free to express them. Far from the noise of reality and all their problems as they relived one of their best moments together.

Yet only for a moment.

A short moment in a sea of thousands, soon to be lost forever.

As the music reached its conclusion, the light above suddenly shattered, bringing the room into darkness.

Her mind came crashing down as everything froze.

She didn't want it to end now. Not anymore.

But her realization had come too late to act upon.

It was all gone the moment they'd entered that ballroom.

Everything they'd shared together, every laugh and every tear, every memory and every moment, would be erased to mean nothing more than something platonic.

Standing there, holding onto her feelings for the last time, she could only hope.

But there was only pure, pitch black.

And then there was nothing.

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(1330 words)

**A/N: I rewrote this to make it better than when I posted it yesterday. Know that a second chapter is still in the works, this ain't over yet!**

I wanna thank those of you who explained some of the stuff i failed to understand in the new episodes through the reviews, it helped me make things in this story less confusing and more comprehensible. I'll make sure to respond more directly to your reviews in the next chapter, but until then, know it helped very much!

I also want to thank everyone for reading the older version (and, hopefully, checking out this newer, hopefully better version), really appreciated!

bye


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